Monday, November 5, 2007

Damn Church...Joke

A grumpy old man walks into a local First Baptist Church and says to the secretary, "I wanna join this damn church."

The astonished woman replies, "I beg your pardon, sir. I must have misunderstood you. What did you say?"

"Listen up, dammit. I said I want to join this damn church!"

"I'm very sorry sir, but that kind of language is not tolerated in this church."

The secretary leaves her desk and goes into the pastor's study to inform him of her situation. The pastor agrees that the secretary does not have to listen to that foul language. They both return to her office and the pastor asks, "Sir, what seems to be the problem here?"

"There IS no damn problem!," the man says. "Looky here, I just won $200 million bucks in the damn lottery and I want to join this damn church to get rid of some of this damn money."

"I see," said the pastor. "And is this bitch giving you a hard time?"

Sunday, November 4, 2007

Update on my puppies

Mixed Chesapeake black lab, named Cookie by my younger son, went into labor today.

She got pregnant on August 13, 2007.
Went into labor on October 15, 2007.
62 days from the time she got pregnant.

Almost three hours passed before the birth of second puppy.
Then they arrived approximately every 15 to 30 minutes.

12:30pm The first puppy born is female, black, with one leg half white, paws all white, chest white, white mark on head.

3:18pm second puppy born female, black, white chest, white paws…larger than the first-born...began eating first

3:37pm third puppy born female, black, with white on head and chest…white paws…smaller than first two. Runt

4:02pm fourth puppy born female, black with white all the way around its neck, and chest…approx. same size as first born

4:32pm fifth puppy born male, mostly black with no unusually marks… average size.

5:05pm sixth puppy born male, mostly black with white paws…larger of the two mostly black

5:31pm seventh puppy born female, light chocolate brown, white chest and pink paws…average size

6:16pm eighth puppy born male, dark chocolate brown, white chest and pink paws…same size as light brown female

6:54pm ninth puppy born male, black, with white all around head…biggest puppy…already nicknamed Panda.

Mother and babies are all doing fine.

Friday, November 2, 2007

More smiles than frowns

More smiles than frowns.

Wow! I can hardly believe the kind of day I had today. It was GooooD. (Big Smile) Not much stress, but some. It started with my 14 year old this morning, when he woke up not feeling good…ahhh too much candy, was my first thought. However, a little temperature check revealed a high enough temp to warrant a call to the school to let them know he wouldn’t be in school for the day. The way it’s looking, he’ll probably be home again tomorrow…it’s some stomach virus that is going around is my guess, since my neighbor is complaining of the same symptoms.

Next, I was greeted with a gift from my boys and boyfriend, (big smile) which I found on top of my TV in my bedroom. Apparently, they had purchased the items several days before, but kept them hidden until my birthday. They got me a large glass dolphin sculpture, which was beautiful and they gave me a couple of scented glass candles, (I love those kinds of things.) How my 14 year old kept quiet about it, I’ll never know…he’s not good at keeping secrets.

Mail time. I got an unexpected check in the mail for something I had forgotten about, but I also got a letter of bad news, which I was already aware of, so it wasn’t that big of a deal…still it sucked….but the money made it all GooooD.

The next part of my day, I spent shopping at Wal-Mart. Now this is a tough one. I like the prices Wal-Mart offers, but I hate the customer service. Like the fact that it takes 5 to 6 hours to have your tires changed, fixed, replaced, etc. It also takes at least 2 hours or more to have your oil changed. I used to think these things were a great deal because I could save 5 to 10 dollars getting my oil changed and 20 to 30 dollars on my tires, but then I started added in all the extra time it was taking me, and things didn’t look like such a great bargain then.

Most of the people working there are nice, but there are just not enough workers, especially around the first of the month, when many of less fortunate people get their once a month allotment of money. It seems to me by now grocery stores would have figured this out, and planned for more workers to be there. I swear today, if I had been in a different kind of mood, I would have probably just left my 300-dollar shopping cart in the middle of some isle and walked out.

I felt sorry for the woman who was checking everyone out in my long line of at least six full carts; she looked like she was running a marathon trying to check everyone through without angering anyone. Sweat was dripping down from the corners of her face, and she was scanning things through as if her boss was standing behind her with a whip, snapping her in the ass if she dared to slow down. Kudos to this woman…she needs a raise.

More of my day, I received several calls, letters, and online gifs from different people I know (and some I don’t know very well) who were wishing me a happy birthday. I think this is the most wishes that I’ve ever gotten. Okay…little secret to anyone who is reading all of this noise…I turned 41 years old today. Yes 41! I post on my space a younger age, but who doesn’t really want to be a younger person…especially women. But I feel good, 41 is not that bad I guess.

Now it’s 2 am and the house is totally quiet. I get a moment alone with my thoughts, and tonight for once, the thoughts are good. I wish everyday could be like this. A few mistakes happen along the way, but the overall feeling is good.