Monday, November 5, 2007

Damn Church...Joke

A grumpy old man walks into a local First Baptist Church and says to the secretary, "I wanna join this damn church."

The astonished woman replies, "I beg your pardon, sir. I must have misunderstood you. What did you say?"

"Listen up, dammit. I said I want to join this damn church!"

"I'm very sorry sir, but that kind of language is not tolerated in this church."

The secretary leaves her desk and goes into the pastor's study to inform him of her situation. The pastor agrees that the secretary does not have to listen to that foul language. They both return to her office and the pastor asks, "Sir, what seems to be the problem here?"

"There IS no damn problem!," the man says. "Looky here, I just won $200 million bucks in the damn lottery and I want to join this damn church to get rid of some of this damn money."

"I see," said the pastor. "And is this bitch giving you a hard time?"

Sunday, November 4, 2007

Update on my puppies

Mixed Chesapeake black lab, named Cookie by my younger son, went into labor today.

She got pregnant on August 13, 2007.
Went into labor on October 15, 2007.
62 days from the time she got pregnant.

Almost three hours passed before the birth of second puppy.
Then they arrived approximately every 15 to 30 minutes.

12:30pm The first puppy born is female, black, with one leg half white, paws all white, chest white, white mark on head.

3:18pm second puppy born female, black, white chest, white paws…larger than the first-born...began eating first

3:37pm third puppy born female, black, with white on head and chest…white paws…smaller than first two. Runt

4:02pm fourth puppy born female, black with white all the way around its neck, and chest…approx. same size as first born

4:32pm fifth puppy born male, mostly black with no unusually marks… average size.

5:05pm sixth puppy born male, mostly black with white paws…larger of the two mostly black

5:31pm seventh puppy born female, light chocolate brown, white chest and pink paws…average size

6:16pm eighth puppy born male, dark chocolate brown, white chest and pink paws…same size as light brown female

6:54pm ninth puppy born male, black, with white all around head…biggest puppy…already nicknamed Panda.

Mother and babies are all doing fine.

Friday, November 2, 2007

More smiles than frowns

More smiles than frowns.

Wow! I can hardly believe the kind of day I had today. It was GooooD. (Big Smile) Not much stress, but some. It started with my 14 year old this morning, when he woke up not feeling good…ahhh too much candy, was my first thought. However, a little temperature check revealed a high enough temp to warrant a call to the school to let them know he wouldn’t be in school for the day. The way it’s looking, he’ll probably be home again tomorrow…it’s some stomach virus that is going around is my guess, since my neighbor is complaining of the same symptoms.

Next, I was greeted with a gift from my boys and boyfriend, (big smile) which I found on top of my TV in my bedroom. Apparently, they had purchased the items several days before, but kept them hidden until my birthday. They got me a large glass dolphin sculpture, which was beautiful and they gave me a couple of scented glass candles, (I love those kinds of things.) How my 14 year old kept quiet about it, I’ll never know…he’s not good at keeping secrets.

Mail time. I got an unexpected check in the mail for something I had forgotten about, but I also got a letter of bad news, which I was already aware of, so it wasn’t that big of a deal…still it sucked….but the money made it all GooooD.

The next part of my day, I spent shopping at Wal-Mart. Now this is a tough one. I like the prices Wal-Mart offers, but I hate the customer service. Like the fact that it takes 5 to 6 hours to have your tires changed, fixed, replaced, etc. It also takes at least 2 hours or more to have your oil changed. I used to think these things were a great deal because I could save 5 to 10 dollars getting my oil changed and 20 to 30 dollars on my tires, but then I started added in all the extra time it was taking me, and things didn’t look like such a great bargain then.

Most of the people working there are nice, but there are just not enough workers, especially around the first of the month, when many of less fortunate people get their once a month allotment of money. It seems to me by now grocery stores would have figured this out, and planned for more workers to be there. I swear today, if I had been in a different kind of mood, I would have probably just left my 300-dollar shopping cart in the middle of some isle and walked out.

I felt sorry for the woman who was checking everyone out in my long line of at least six full carts; she looked like she was running a marathon trying to check everyone through without angering anyone. Sweat was dripping down from the corners of her face, and she was scanning things through as if her boss was standing behind her with a whip, snapping her in the ass if she dared to slow down. Kudos to this woman…she needs a raise.

More of my day, I received several calls, letters, and online gifs from different people I know (and some I don’t know very well) who were wishing me a happy birthday. I think this is the most wishes that I’ve ever gotten. Okay…little secret to anyone who is reading all of this noise…I turned 41 years old today. Yes 41! I post on my space a younger age, but who doesn’t really want to be a younger person…especially women. But I feel good, 41 is not that bad I guess.

Now it’s 2 am and the house is totally quiet. I get a moment alone with my thoughts, and tonight for once, the thoughts are good. I wish everyday could be like this. A few mistakes happen along the way, but the overall feeling is good.

Wednesday, October 31, 2007

Why Do We Love Puppies?

Why do we love puppies?

Why is it that those who don’t like dogs still like puppies?

Walking a large Lab/Pit Bull mixed dog is an interesting experience. I have two that I often walk through my neighborhood, and no matter how nice and friendly they are to me, most people see them as something to be feared. People are scared by pit bulls, some by large dogs, and others by all dogs. However, all that fear vanishes when they see you walking two 12-week-old puppies. The little happy-go-lucky guys suddenly become the center of attention. Apparently most people can’t help but love little puppies, even the type of dogs people tend to fear when they get bigger.

It seems our brains are what make us attracted to the little, innocent, creatures. After all, their large foreheads, and big, round eyes are reminiscent of human babies. Clearly, we’re predisposed to care for babies. We’re just a nurturing species. Our babies require a great deal of care for many years. When we see these cues, we can’t help but respond with a rush of a hormone called oxytocin. We generalize our feelings to other species--including dogs.

Unbelievably, that generalization in scientific parlance is called the ‘aw’ factor. We respond with lots of smiles, a softer and higher voice, and we tend to actually say ‘aw.’

Sometimes this same generalized attraction occurs when we see adult animals. With their big eyes, large, roundish heads, pronounced foreheads and fairly short snouts. Adult pandas elicit the same response that babies do. After all, they look like cuddly teddy bears.

It’s no coincidence that dogs look like they do. For thousands of years, we’ve played a role in their selection, and naturally, we select features that are most appealing to us. Many dogs were bred for a function such a herding sheep or to retrieve waterfowl, and their features reflect their jobs. However, other dogs were simply bred for our pleasure, and human baby-like features seem to be more evident in these breeds.

The King Charles spaniel as an example has many puppy features, even as adults. There is the soft expression and those big eyes. Many adult dogs of many breeds have a perpetual look of innocence, and that’s what’s most appealing.

For the most part, we have bred all dogs to retain puppy characteristics, like playfulness, throughout their lives. Dogs are one of an only few neotenous (retaining many child-like characteristics as adults) species on the planet. We find puppies so appealing that we want them to be puppies forever.

Still, there is more that is appealing about pups. Aside for those visual cues, they actually smell fresh, some of their whimpering sounds remind us of baby sounds, and that’s endearing to us. Also, puppies make us laugh – and of course laughter naturally feels good. We are all drawn to what makes us feel good.

However, if puppies do all these things for us and trigger an oxytocin burst that can’t be avoided, then why do some cultures treat puppies unkindly? I don’t think anyone knows. Biology is the same in everyone, so it must be that the culture around them can be a powerful force. Just as people who are afraid of adult dogs are unlikely to fear puppies, I would bet that young children not exposed to the cultural norms of those places not as friendly toward dogs, would find that puppies naturally charm them, but there’s no research on this area as far as I know.

Puppies certainly do charm us. It’s no coincidence that they are often used on TV and print ads. A cute puppy may help sell your product. In addition, of course puppies can do no wrong… well until they piddle on your carpet.

Saturday, October 27, 2007

Things that make me smile.

Elderly couples in matching outfits.
Newborn puppy with hiccups.
Watching a 5 years old splashing in a mud puddle.
Laying in the sun with your children and looking up at the clouds in the sky.
Laughing until it hurts.
Eating Chocolate covered strawberries that your lover gave to you.
Finding money in a pocket that you had forgotten about.
Watching children hunt for Easter eggs.
Getting a letter from someone, you haven’t heard from in a long time.
Running through sprinklers…naked?
Seeing all the lights at Christmas time.
Watching people opening presents.
Completing a goal.
Finding a four-leaf clover.
Watching the stars at night.
Seeing my ponies bloom in the summer.
The smell of your favorite food cooking.
A cool breeze across your face early in the morning.
Making a snowman.
Dancing when you know no one is watching.
Driving down a hill very fast.
Funny Video

Friday, October 26, 2007

Life Quotes

Happiness is walking through a cow pasture and coming out on the other side without shit between your toes.
Happiness is the overall experience of pleasure and meaning.
To be happy we need both meaning and pleasure in our lives,
To have both a sense of purpose and the experience of positive emotions.

Some people are like slinkies,
Not really good for anything
But still brings a smile to your face
When you push them down a flight of stairs.

Something to Make you Smile

Laughing so hard your face hurts.
Running through sprinklers.
A beauitful sunset.
Eight baby kittens playing.
Laughter of little children.
People who trip and fall, then get up and scour the area to see what tripped them.
Waking up and realizing you still have a few hours left to sleep.
Knowing you've done the right thing, no matter what other people think.
Running into an old friend and realizing that some things (good or bad) never change.
Making eye contact with a cute stranger.
A phone call/email from a friend to just say hi.
Getting all the green lights.
Getting mostly your favoirte color in a package of candy.
When you find more than one or two pecans in a can of mixed nuts!
Falling in love.
Lying in bed listening to the rain outside.
Making new friends.
Seeing my wife/husband after a long shift.
Watching and listening to little kids when they don't know you're watching and listening to them!
Kissing my baby's cheek as I give them a late night bottle.
Watching my child take their first steps.
Noticing all the American flags flying in my neighborhood.